Sworn to Protect a World That Hates & Poops In It

Lord help me, I don’t even really know how to describe this. This item was put up on eBay about a week ago by user xenonouveau. It’s a toilet completely covered in pages of the 1991 smash hit X-Men #1. I remember this issue coming out when I was just a lad of about nine years old. It was published with five different covers, four that assembled into one giant cover and one that folded out into that same giant cover. I remember getting my grandparents to take me to a couple different comic shops because I just had to have the one that had all four covers on it.  This was around the time that comic books were driven by the speculator’s market. Old issues from the thirties & sixties, particularly first issues of series and first appearances of characters were selling for big bucks among private collectors. Select issues would go for thousands of dollars. Mainstream news outlets got wind of this and started reporting that buying comic books would be a good investment. Spend just a couple dollars now and cash in for a couple grand when you’re ready to retire. The comics industry caught on to this and started releasing a great deal of new number ones, variant covers, and special “collector’s items”. X-Men #1 was released with five different covers and sure enough there were people who bought all five and probably didn’t even read them, just sitting them in a box in the basement hoping to make a payday on them in a few years. The book sold upwards of eight million copies, making it the best selling comic book of all time. As a result, it’s not worth squat today. People failed to realize that the reason the first appearances of Superman, Batman, Spider-Man and the X-men were selling for so much money was because there were very few wholly intact copies left after all those years. No one treated them like collector’s items when they came out. In 1938 a kid would buy Action Comics #1 for ten cents, read it, toss it in a corner somewhere, then their parents would throw it out when they cleaned their kids’ rooms.  Seventy two years later, Action Comics #1 sells for one million dollars.  That happened because there’s not a lot of copies left. It’s a genuine rare item.

Thanks to there being more than eight million copies of X-Men #1, and people taking care of those copies, the book isn’t worth a whole lot these days. It’s worth so little, in fact, that someone can cut a copy up and glue it all over a toilet. And that toilet can be yours, since the auction is still open. If only it came with toilet paper made from Chuck Austen’s run on Uncanny X-Men

More pictures after the jump.


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