Dear Booster Gold and Uncanny X-Force,
I’ve been avoiding this. I mean, I really don’t want to hurt either you. Really. But I can’t just dodge this anymore, and I know that it will only get worse the longer I hold out. So it’s time to man up and just say it.
Guys, this isn’t working out. I think it’s time that we parted ways.
I’d be lying if I took credit for it being completely my fault that this is happening. After all, if you were “must read”, this probably wouldn’t have come up. But I just can’t go another month with you. I have to move on. But I do feel like I should give you an explanation for my decision, and I will do so seperately. After all, I can hardly lump the two of you in together, can I?
Booster Gold, I will let you in on the secret I’ve been keeping from you. I’m really not that interested in you. In fact, the only reason why you came back to my pulls after the last time I dropped you was because I heard that Keith Giffen and J.M. DeMatteis were taking over your writing. But it wasn’t you I was wanting. It was the old school JLI run from the 80’s. And you’re just not that, are you? And that’s not the only thing I was using you as a substitute for. I wanted the Blue Beetle back, and you seemed the only way to make that happen. So I went along and laughed with you. It felt like Ted Kord had never had his brain ventillated by Max Lord’s bullet. All seemed right again. But that’s not going to last, is it? No matter how long I stick with it, Ted Kord is going to remain dead. And you will remain a solo title for Booster Gold. And he’s not the one I want to follow. He’s not a substitute for the Beetle.
But I suppose my big issue is that you just don’t seem to be going anywhere. You’re currently stuck treading water while Generation Lost is going on. You have zany adventures in the past that really don’t do anything. You seem to have lost your purpose and you don’t do anything of consequence. I’m not saying that every adventure needs to have earth-shattering ramifications, but it would be nice if you had any sort of purpose. You’re most recent story was built on the plot point that everything would turn out fine because everything in the present was set. So when the humor starts running thin, what’s left to follow?
I’m sure you’ll do just fine without me. I might even check in on you once in a while.
Ah, Uncanny X-Force – you’ve only had one issue come out and already I’m done with you. I will admit, that unlike Booster, it’s not completely your fault that I’m making this call. Marvel is pricing you at $4 a month, and I don’t think you’re worth the price. Perhaps had you been just one dollar cheaper, this wouldn’t be the case. But it is what it is. But you can take solace that your pricing is not my only reason for parting ways with you.
I was quite reluctant to follow your adjectiveless predecessor when they launched it after Messiah CompleX. An X-Men black-ops killing team didn’t sound very enjoyable to me, and the book initially came off as a reason to show a lot of blood every month. What changed my mind was that the events in the book came off as legitimately important. The return of Bastion, the raising of the dead villains (the first time, at least), the return of Archangel. Everything that happened behind the scenes seemed to be building to something big. Even the entire premise – that Cyclops was responsible for the operation – was built to eventually blow.
But now all that is gone. After Second Coming everyone was pretty much in agreement that there was no purpose for X-Force anymore. But Wolverine, the reluctant leader of the group, went ahead with it anyway. And why? To make a book where Wolverine kills people. And then you went and shoehorned Deadpool, neglecting that he’s exactly like Fantomex, except less interesting. But with your new cold-blooded killing team lineup, you’ve removed one of the most interesting aspects of the original title: the reluctance of its members. Warpath, Wolfsbane, and Elixir were not pleased with the matter. Archangel only was on board when he was in his ‘Death’ mode. X-23 was all about it, but Wolverine was trying to save her from his lifestyle. Vanisher was forced to serve against his will, though eventually warmed to the idea. The only one fully on board was Domino, which actually set her apart from the rest of the team. This new team doesn’t have any kind of dynamic to it. They are there because a killing book will sell.
And I will admit, I may be way off base here. After all, you’ve only put out one single issue. But you know something? I’m not willing to drop $4 a month to find out if you’ll eventually make something of yourself. I can see every one of your members in other titles, so I won’t be missing any of them. I suppose if something big happens, I can eventually go back and see. But I’m sure you’ll be fine without me as well. After all, Marvel’s charging $4 an issue for you.
So it’s time to say goodbye, guys. I would say it’s been fun, but had that been the case, we probably wouldn’t be here right now. Behave yourselves.