Today’s event is the Discus. You’re competitors are:
WAIT! We have breaking news from the Superhero Olympic Committee. Officials are saying that one of the competitors has been disqualified due to the use of performance enhancing drugs. We are still waiting on who exactly it is. The competition was supposed to pit Captain America against Damian Wayne, otherwise known as Robin. No one was really expecting much of a competition between the two, with Captain America known for throwing his shield, and Robin really just being agile and a fighter. But, Robin had volunteered for this event, eager to compete against the Captain.
We’re finally getting word on who has been disqualified. It is in fact Captain America. The Captain was shocked, stating that he had never taken PEDs. The SOC asked him how he got his powers, to which he replied a Super Soldier Serum, and they replied with, “exactly.”
In a statement, the SOC said that they don’t usually make these types of rulings, because with superheroes, things can get pretty murky. “We don’t like having to think about and decide on whether something was an accident, or an intentional act,” said one official. “But in the case of Captain America, it was pretty clearly an intentional act. Still we would not have investigated it had we not received an anonymous call from a child, alerting us to the circumstances.”
When asked for comment, and if he had any involvement, Damian Wayne simply said that he always knew he would win. He then walked off whistling Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust.”