We’re back with another installment of The Super Mario Bros. Super Show. This episode is titled “Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid.” It was written by Phil Harnage and directed by Dan Riba.
We start this episode with the brothers making some adjustments to a large machine called the Steamomatic. Of course they do the joke where one thought they were supposed to be tightening the valves, while the other thought they should be loosening them. They then get a call from Sgt. Slaughter, yes, that Sgt. Slaughter. He wants to know how things are coming along with his steam machine. He’s stuck in traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge, but is going to take a shortcut. Luigi questioned how he was going to take a shortcut, and I was certain that we were going to hear a splash over the phone. Instead, the Sarge points out that he’s in a Sherman tank, because he’s in the army, and just starts running over cars.
Pretty certain Sarge just turned heel with these actions, and this was a couple years before WrestleMania 7. I mean, he just destroyed people’s cars on the bridge, all because he was impatient. Also, it’s highly unlikely that he didn’t injure anyone. Hell, it’s quite possible that Sgt. Slaughter, in this episode of The Super Mario Bros. Super Show killed innocent people, all because he was tired of waiting, and wanted to check out his steam machine. Think on that for a bit.
Before Sarge arrives, Mario decides that he wants to check out the machine, and gets into it. Sarge arrives, and turns on the machine. It starts rumbling, which Sarge doesn’t like the sound of. Luigi tells him it’s better if he stands in the kitchen, so he does. And then the cartoon portion starts.
We find ourselves with Koopa again having kidnapped the princess, only this time, we’re in the wild West. They find a wanted poster with their pictures on it stuck to a cactus. The cactus tries to capture them to get the bounty, but they defeat it with a plunger. As you are generally do with cacti. They question why their names are on a wanted poster, and suspect it’s because of Koopa. Internally, I’m shouting, of course it’s because of Koopa, you morons. He’s your enemy. He rules the area. He’s going to try to capture you by any means necessary. Geesh.
Mario, Luigi, and Toad are walking along when they come across Mouser and his posse. They try to flee and a dramatic chase ensues. During this chase, there’s a “great” moment that shows how preposterous some video game scenarios are. They get to a point where they need to cross a river, right before the waterfall. Fortunately for them, there are a bunch of logs coming down the river, floating perpendicular to the river. It’s something straight out of a game, and it looks ridiculous. My first thought was, why are there so many logs, and where are they coming from. Next was, wouldn’t they be floating down the river longways instead of sideways? But I digress. Anyways, they’re able to escape.
Mario, Luigi, and Toad, now in possession of region appropriate clothing, find that Koopa has increased the bounty on them. They then find some very well spelled out smoke signals guiding them to the location of the Princess. Unfortunately, Mouser has also found them. They flee from a rolling bolder, and dash into town. Where they just so happen to see a sign for free Italian food. Being Italian, they can’t pass up this offer of free Italian food, even though they are running for their lives. They go into the place, and of course Koopa is in there. At this point, I think they deserve to be captured by Koopa. In fact, I’m tempted to turn on Super Mario Bros. just so I can make them lose.
Like a moron, Mouser comes into the cell when one of them starts demanding water. Mario knocks his hat, and Toad gets inside of it. Mouser doesn’t realize that his hat suddenly weighs a whole lot more, and puts it on. He then proceeds to go to the saloon because he’s a horrible guard. Toad finds some Bombs, and uses them to break Mario and Luigi out of jail. It’s at this point where I think about the fact that the Bombs are sentient beings. Do they live their lives knowing at some point their life is going to end in an explosion? Is a part of their culture that exploding is seen as fulfilling their destiny? So many questions, so few answers.
The trio escapes and use the Bombs to get to the Princess, but the explosion just fills the mine with smoke. So they have to go out and have a short fire fight with Koopa. They run back in, down a different path than before, and actually find the Princess. But, they’ve fallen down into the mine where she was being held. They find water pipes, conveniently, and use that to flush Koopa and his gang away. Princess asks Mario if there’s any way that she can thank him. Mario says there are seven, but all of them are food. This is a kids show, after all.
We get back to the live action stuff, where Luigi takes out a pizza and presents it to Sarge. What follows may be the legit, in all seriously, non-sarcastically, best moment of the show. Luigi and Sarge do this “sound off” (not sure what it’s actually called) bit. And it’s actually well written, the timing is good, and it makes sense with Sarge being there. I actually enjoyed it. Eventually we get to the payoff of Mario having been in the steamer the entire time, and a mini-Mario hops out.
It was fun seeing Sarge in this episode, even though he may or may not have actually been a homicidal psychopath here. If you’d like to watch this episode, it can be found on Netflix. Until next time.